Let's All Take a Bow

The other day I showed up on time for an appointment but the person I was meeting was not in the office. Geez, that bugs me. My time is valuable too. In fairness, the planner was off ill. I guess I should always confirm appointments but I'm afraid that a friendly reminder will turn into a postponement until like forever. And besides, such incidences are very rare and when they happen, the planet tips slightly in your favour. For a little while anyways. Still, it made me think -– I never cancel a sales call when I'm sick (unless deathly so) and if other reps are like me, we must be major spreaders of colds and flu. With diseases getting more frightening every year, maybe it's time we reconsidered the tradition of handshakes, hugs and kisses. Maybe it's time to introduce... the bow.

Since we are so proficient at kissing ass, we should certainly have sufficient flexibility for a simple bow. But aha, there is no simple bow. In fact, there is an entire language to the bow with proper etiquette on its length, depth and appropriate response. For instance, in Japan, there are bows for greetings, bows for apologies, bows for gratitude, bows for different emotions (humility, sincerity, remorse, deference...). Think of the fun we can have - we can create bows for our own industry:

• The "makegood offer" bow
• The "why didn't I get the RFP" bow
• The "I'm not worthy but if I bow long and hard, maybe I'll get a sympathy page" bow

So start practicing your bows in front of the mirror for no less than five minutes daily. Start slowly with gentle head nods and work your way up to a 10-second, 90-degree bow. Then try a dry run at the next Magazines Canada rep-only function by bowing to everybody you meet. If they read this blog, they'll be bowing too. If we can get this going with the enthusiasm of the 1990's stadium Wave phenomenon, we can then move it from the practice field to the real world and do our part in keeping the next pandemic at bay. Fellow reptiles, start your bowing.

PMB, SHME MB

PMB 2006 will arrive on March 30. Big deal.

Nothing much changes from year to year and by the time you see it the data is as stale as a week-old croissant (it covers a period starting 2-1/2 years prior to release and as of today, some data in PMB 2005 is actually 3-1/2 years old). Well actually everything changes just a wee bit, and thus every media kit, promotion piece and sales letter is immediately obsolete keeping those research managers employed for another year.

There was a time when being in PMB really meant something. Your magazine was "worthy" and automatically considered for media plans. The data was actually used to make decisions and being in the study meant your magazine had a shot. Mind you, the flip side was that bad numbers could be the death knell.

By the mid-90s the writing was on the wall and PMB began lobbying the industry to embark on a major methodology change. The move to recent-reading methodology was necessary as the through-the-book method had clearly hit the wall. The study had become cumbersome and as more magazines joined, reported readership of existing PMB publications began to tumble.

But just as clutter expands to fill the space of a bigger home, the new method opened the floodgates to a pile of marginal magazines and today being in PMB no longer has cachet. Not when PMB 2006 will introduce the likes of City Parent, Forever Young, Vervegirl, What’s Cooking, What's Up Kids Family, Adorable, Ricardo, Summum and Jobboom. What are the criteria for becoming a member other than having printed words on paper and cash in the bank?!

In my humble opinion, being measured in PMB is simply a way to avoid getting blown off by media planners that have to dump 1,000 magazines from the list in one fell swoop. That's why the successful magazine Cottage Life reluctantly joined – Al's gang was tired of hearing from planners that it wasn't being considered because it wasn't in PMB. Fat lot of good joining did – its ad pages have actually declined since the release of PMB 2005 despite strong audience numbers. Looks like those wily planners found another reason to blow off Cottage Life. The same thing happened to Inside Entertainment which received surprisingly good numbers only to go on and lose advertising pages. Yet PMB coughs up a one- reader-per-copy fur ball called Toro and the magazine flourishes. Why? Because PMB is no longer all-mighty.

Rather, PMB is something akin to a circulation audit – a necessary but nearly useless sales tool. Without it forget about getting on many plans. With it, well they'll just have to come up with a different excuse to blow you off.